Ever get the feeling someone’s having a go at you?

That can happen in weird ways in the online world.

You might see someone’s Facebook post or Instagram post with a cryptically snide comment about a person.

So you try and guess who is being talked about…

Is it Bonnie Blogger, Wanda Website, Clarissa Course…?

… Or is it even YOU?

Recently, I’ve noticed a growing trend for this.

It’s now common to complain (often vaguely) about other people in the same space as you.

Sometimes that’s within a Facebook group, special interest group or an industry on a platform like X, Instagram or Facebook or even at live events.

In these situations, you don’t always have to ‘name names’ in order to undermine a rival.

You can do it by making a critical or mocking comment about them in a subtle or indirect way – and yet ‘those who know’ will know!

And those who don’t know will have a great time guessing, speculating and gossiping about the possible target.

When you know it’s not you, *maybe* it can be fun to speculate.

But when you think it might be you, it must be HORRIBLE.

When X was called Twitter, this behaviour used to be known as ‘sub-tweeting’, where you make a dig without putting it in context or naming any names.

On Facebook it’s known as Vaguebooking.

And on other social media platforms, it’s sometimes called ‘shade’.

Whatever platform it happens on, it’s a bit like being at school.

Whispers, insinuations, allegations…

To be honest. I really hate it.

Yet I understand why some people resort to it, because it’s a technique that works.

Yes you WILL get attention…

Yes you WILL get shared on social media…

And yes you WILL get engagement.

But at What Cost?

There’s an old saying – ‘those who live by the sword die by the sword’.

This is so true online.

Because when you bash other people, even indirectly, then people will feel perfectly justified in doing the same back to you.

After all, you’ve made it seem morally ok!

Yet you’re contributing to a toxic online culture, and your own sneaky post could end up biting you where it hurts.

Plus – in my view – it’s a lazy way to generate engagement.

Because there are lots of great techniques we can all use instead…

Positive Engagement Strategies that Work

Whether you’re on social media, blogging or sending regular emails, there are loads of ways to generate intrigue and excitement that don’t have to undermine other people.

Here are some…

• Share Your Successes – People love success stories. Share your milestones, big or small, and invite your followers to celebrate with you.

It could be hitting a business milestone, getting a good review, completing a major project or being covered in the media.

If you receive any awards or recognitions, don’t be afraid to share them – it might feel like showing off but it’s going to give you loads more clout with your customers.

• Share Your Mistakes – People also like it just as much when you share your missteps, flaws and failures – it makes you more relatable, honest and human. (Better than just criticising other people’s mistakes!)

• Behind-the-scenes stories – give your followers a peek behind the scenes as you develop a product, practice your craft or run your business.

It could even be a day in your life, or a big challenge you faced recently. You could even post updates in real-time about what you’re working on.

• Topical Media Story – find an intriguing, strange or emotive news story and share it with your own ‘spin’ or link it to your field of interest. Linking to a hot topic in the news is a great way to grab attention.

• Champion a Cause – if there is a common cause that you and your customers share, then be bold and outspoken about it, to ‘rally the troops’. It could even be a post in support of a charity or organisation. Look out for special commemorative days and awareness days that happen almost every week throughout the year.

• Testimonials and Case Studies – share positive feedback from clients and subscribers showcasing how your course made a difference. This can also help boost the idea that you are all in a mutually supportive online community.

• Ask Questions – Engage your audience by asking for their opinions or experiences, either sent to you directly or shared publicly with everyone, so that they feel part of your network.

• Polls and Surveys – Use polls and surveys to gather opinions on relevant topics. These are quick and easy ways for your audience to participate in your service – and you’ll get some great insights.

• Discussion Starters – Post open-ended questions related to your field. For example, “What’s the biggest challenge you face with [topic]?” This sparks conversation and keeps your audience tuned in.

• Feedback Requests – Ask for comments on your content, products, or services. Questions like “How can we improve?” or “What would you like to see more of?” show that you value your audience’s input.

• How-to Guides and Free Tutorials – Create step-by-step guides or video tutorials on topics relevant then offer them for free as a surprise gift.

• Resource Lists – Share a list of useful tools, resources, or articles that your audience can benefit from.

All of these are positive ways you can get some attention (and even some love) on social media without resorting to rival-bashing, complaining and spreading discontent.

I hope that helps!

And by the way – I’m going to be in touch soon with some very exciting news so keep your eyes peeled.

It’s going to change the course creation industry and I can’t wait to share it with you.