The first time it happened, I was deeply suspicious…

“You can have that one on the house,” said the Barista, smiling as he slid a turmeric latte across the counter.

“Er, thanks!” I said, taken aback.

Admittedly, I am always quite chatty with staff in the coffee shop, so I assumed it was because of that and happily went on my way.

When I got back to the Clerkenwell office I share with my husband, he looked really suspicious when I told him about the freebie.

“Was it a male Barista?”

“Well, yes,” I said, “but it wasn’t anything like that.”

He didn’t look particularly convinced but that was that.

Anyway, a week later it happened again. This time it was a woman who gave me the drink instead of a man.

Then it happened again about a month after that.

Now, you might expect this kind of thing in a small local coffee shop where the owner knows you and is able to decide who and when to give free coffees…

But this was a central London branch of Pret a Manger! A large global chain!

Surely staff members behind the counter don’t have the autonomy to simply hand over freebies to anyone they want?

I started to wonder what was going on.

So I did a bit of digging and found an article in the Guardian in which the Chief Executive of Pret, Clive Schlee, publicly admitted that occasional giveaways are “official policy”.

Staff are allowed to give away a certain amount of hot drinks and food each week, based on a budget.

In other words, this is controlled generosity.

Schlee said that this approach to rewarding customers was a cheaper and simpler alternative to the usual customer loyalty card scheme.

Okay, that may be true…

But I think there is something deeper going on here, and it could be useful for you to know about it.

How the Law of Reciprocity is so powerful in life and business

In his famous book Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion, Robert Cialdini writes about the principle of ‘reciprocity’.

Very simply, it goes like this…

When we are given something of value, we feel compelled to give back something in return.

For example, let’s say a friend of yours volunteers to help you move house without asking for anything from you.

It’s highly likely you’ll buy them a bottle of wine or a bunch of flowers.

Maybe you’ll cook them dinner or get in a pizza.

That’s the law in action.

And if they were to tell you they were moving house, you’d probably feel like you should offer to help them, same as they did with you, even if you don’t really want to!

Now the law is really working because your friend has probably got more out of the whole exchange than you, simply by being first to offer something valuable to you for nothing.

Unsurprisingly, you see this law being used all over the place.

For instance, if someone gives you a free sample of cake in your local market, you’ll feel a nagging sense that you should make a purchase, almost as if you owe them… or that it would be rude not to.

I dread my daughter being offered a sample of something as she’s so sweet and polite she always says ‘that’s delicious’ so I go ahead and buy it only to be told by her as we leave the shop ‘oh Mummy – I didn’t really like it – I just didn’t want to hurt their feelings’.

Or if a charity fundraiser hands a free balloon to your kid, you will feel more compelled to give them a couple of minutes of your attention.

Same goes for Hare Krishna or Jehovah’s Witnesses when they give away books in town centres and airports.

The free book encourages you to stop and listen to them, then consider more carefully what they are saying. We are just programmed to be polite and nice.

So I think that, deep down, the same thing is happening with Pret.

Rather than a loyalty card, in which you expect a free drink after, say, ten purchases, this system of “random” giveaways makes the customer feel that they’ve been singled out for something special (that’s how I felt anyway!)

It’s a very different psychology at play, because rather than feeling that the business OWES them something for their loyalty… they will feel more like they OWE something back to the business.

In other words, when you feel like you’ve been genuinely given something of value by a business, you reward them with more loyalty, more repeat business, and more word of mouth advertising as you tell others about your good treatment.

Pret won’t admit this, of course, because that would ruin the entire effect.

However, now you know. And you can use this knowledge in almost any endeavour where you want to persuade people to help you, pay more attention to you, or buy from you.

Ways to use the law of reciprocity

When you’re trying to establish a relationship with a person, whether it’s in real life or online, create a bond of trust by giving them something for free.

But not any old thing…

It needs to be something genuinely desirable, useful and of worth, to the person you are giving it to, otherwise, it’s just junk that they don’t need.

So first you need to work out what specific problems or goals your customer is likely to be experiencing, then do something that actually improves their lives in a tangible way.

For instance, if you have a course that offers baking recipes, you’ll know that those customers will appreciate a free video or download showing a few of those recipes being made, with tips and shortcuts

Give this video to them for nothing, and their sense of trust in you will increase, which means you’re more likely to keep them on as subscribers, blog readers or customers.

They’ll be more likely to look out for your emails and you’re more likely to get a sale from them if you present them with an offer.

This goes for any kind of blog, newsletter, membership site, course, or club.

Other things you could offer include…

• A list of resources (links, reading suggestions, contacts)
• A blueprint with a set of instructions
• A series of tips or ‘Cheat Sheet’ that gives all the basic essential details that someone needs to know about a topic or activity.
• A white paper or report into a subject
• A ‘How to’ video
• A swipe file, case studies or examples
• Free eBook
• Free email newsletters, mini-courses and resources
• Free memberships, samples or trials.

If you are trying to sell something other than information, you might want to consider physical gifts. An example might be if you run a clothes shop, in which case you might give away a badge or brooch.

But the idea of simply giving away free gifts is only one way to use the law of reciprocity.

Here’s an even deeper way to do it…

Create a sense of belonging and let your customers do the work for you

In 1995, Roy Baumeister and Mark Leary wrote ‘The Need to Belong’, a research paper which concluded that everyone has a “strong desire to form and maintain interpersonal attachments”.

Abraham Maslow even put ‘belonging’ into his famous ‘hierarchy of needs’.

That sense of belonging comes from getting positive attention from people you know, like, and trust.

It’s one of the reasons social media works so well. The more response we get to our posts, the more we want to post and respond to other posts. It’s how Facebook has become such a global giant.

And it’s why one of the most powerful ways to harness the principle of reciprocity it is to create a community around your hobby or business.

It could be a live chat room, Facebook Group, weekly meet-up, or online forum.

Allow the members of the group to freely exchange information, tips, advice and encouragement.

The more the people in the group feel they’re being listened to, trusted and respected, the more likely they are to give back to that group.

“In anthropological terms, it’s a gift economy,” says Dr Amy Pollard of the Mental Health Foundation (MHF). “You’re creating bonds of reciprocity, which is where the belonging comes from.”

This is why you’ll often see Facebook Groups and forums attached to businesses, charity campaigns, fan-sites and event organisations… because it generates a sense of belonging that keeps members coming back again and again.

What’s more, those customers will create the content and provide advice for you.

Yet despite doing the legwork, they’ll still feel loyalty and gratitude for the community you’ve established.

And you won’t even need to give away free coffee.