I remember it clearly…

That sense of FEAR.

And we were in such nice surroundings, too, with smells of food and the flickering of candlelight.

You see, my husband Nick and I were in our favourite restaurant, discussing plans for our business.

We do this every year – a day of brainstorming ideas for what we want to achieve in the coming 12 months. It begins in the office (we clear everyone out so that it’s just the two of us) and ends with a nice dinner and wine.

As I mentioned in my last email, planning is SO important, and I don’t think our business would be successful without days like these.

But this time round, it felt different…

We were in the restaurant, eating our starter, and all I could feel was fear and dread.

Why?

Well, Nick had suggested that it was time that I stepped out in front of a crowd and shared my many years of business and marketing experience.

My instant reaction was to say the word “No”.

It just tumbled out, without me really thinking.

My palms felt sweaty and I was hot suddenly, as if the candle on the table between us was emitting violent heat.

Of course I’m not going to stand in front of a crowd and speak, I thought, that’s not what I do.

Since we started running our own business, I was the one who made decisions behind the scenes, while it was Nick who was the “front man”, appearing on the sales letter, narrating our videos, and doing talks at conferences and webinars.

In my head, that was the way things were.

I was comfortable with it.

And truth was, I was frightened of public speaking.

I had spent a lot of my career – even back when I worked for Agora International – deliberately avoiding public speaking situations.

Now my own husband was about to throw me to the lions!

Of course… he was right, and I knew it, deep down.

It was time for me to share my experience and for one particular project I needed to do a presentation in public.

The problem was, my mind couldn’t conceive of this.

I’d created a protective barrier of self-limiting beliefs. There were things I was good at and things that I wasn’t.

Or so I believed.

Public speaking was something I couldn’t do.

But had I tested this barrier?

No.

Had I challenged this belief?

No.

So how did I KNOW it was true?

I didn’t.

When I finally took the plunge, wrote my first ever talk, and performed it to a large crowd… well….

Nothing bad happened.

I didn’t dissolve in a puff of smoke. No one said anything cruel. Nobody laughed at me. And at the end of the day I felt wonderful – exhausted, but wonderful.

Why? Because I felt proud. This was my biggest achievement in my career so far, and now a whole load of opportunities had opened out before me.

The next time I needed to speak live, I hardly felt any fear.

I’d broken through the barrier of that self-limiting belief and now that barrier was dissolving, as if it had never existed – and in fact, it never had, as it was entirely imaginary.

So the question is…

What are YOUR self-limiting beliefs?

Today’s email is going to require you to do a bit of tough talking with yourself.

This is inspired by something I’ve learned from Michael Hyatt, who I mentioned in my previous email about planning.

He has taught a lot about the limits we place on ourselves, and how they can be – and need to be – broken in order for you to achieve what you want in life.

After all, it’s highly likely that in the process of setting up a business you’ll have to do something you’ve never done before… which perhaps frightens or intimidates you…. and requires you to leave your comfort zone.

You may need to challenge self-limiting beliefs like these…

• I hate writing, I’m no good at it.

• I don’t do technical stuff.

• I’m terrified of dealing with customers.

• Nobody will want to listen to me.

• I’ve got no head for numbers.

• I don’t look good enough to appear in photographs.

• I hate my own voice so I can’t do videos.

• I’m too old to do this.

• I’m too young to do this.

• I’m not educated enough.

• I’m too working class

• I’m too posh.

• I am a disorganised person.

• I’m always late and can never hit deadlines.

• I can’t work under pressure.

Even if none of the above apply to you, I’d wager that there is at least one self-limiting belief that you hold right now. Something that you are going to NEED to do in order to succeed.

Be brutal. Be honest. Dig deep….

Think of those assumptions you make about your looks, your skills, your education, your behaviour, your intelligence, your past, your age, your health, your family situation…

They might seem like truths.

But they’re most likely beliefs. They are stories that you tell yourself, over and over again, based on a handful of experiences… but you can challenge these stories and overwrite them with new ones.

A classic example is the person who says, “I am an unlucky person”. And it may be that they have had some bad experiences, but these have been turned into a self-limiting belief that is now hindering that person’s progress.

If you believe you are unlucky, you will be unlucky, because you will shy away from doing things that could CHANGE THAT STORY.

If you believe that there are things you cannot do in business, then you are instantly limiting your success.

So here’s a way to turn this around…

As you may know, this coming year I’m going to teach women like you and I how to turn their skills into a course. One that allows them to share their knowledge, skill and passion with a wider audience.

One of the obstacles that some women encounter is that they believe they don’t have the experience, skills or confidence to do something like this.

Similarly to how I shied away from public speaking for so many years.

I know it’s a common problem, so here’s my advice…

When you start putting together your plan for next year, beware of your mind setting limits on what you can and cannot do.

Change the voice in your head.

You can do it, by being contrary – that is, take your belief and argue the opposite, almost like being the Devil’s Advocate. Turn the negative into a positive OR come up with a solution.

For example…

• NEGATIVE “I am too old” – POSITIVE: “I enjoy a wealth of experience and wisdom that most of my competitors don’t have.”

• NEGATIVE: “Too many people have done this idea before” – POSITIVE: “That’s great because it means there is huge demand for this knowledge and I can bring my own unique personality to this and stand out from the crowd”.

• NEGATIVE: “I’m too busy” – POSITIVE: “This means I understand the importance of time management and focus, which will allow me to work smartly.”

• NEGATIVE: “I’ve got no head for numbers.” – POSITIVE: “I will seek out software and online help that will allow me to run my business. When I realise numbers are not that scary, a huge burden will be lifted.”

• NEGATIVE: “I’m disorganised” – POSITIVE: “Then I understand the need for planning, which will actually help me succeed.”

There’s always another way of looking at it… or a simple solution… that will make running your own business an achievable goal.

Try it today by listing all the main fears you would have about sharing your knowledge, skills and experiences in an online course, then work through each one, finding a positive angle, or a practical solution.

I hope it will help you see what’s truly possible!

And may I take this opportunity a very happy holiday season (however you choose to celebrate). Exciting times ahead for us all in 2019 🙂