“I don’t know how you do it.”

This was what somebody said to me the other day, their eyes wide with horror.

It was one of the mums from my daughter’s school and she was referring to fact that I write this email newsletter, as well as my live coaching and training events.

“I’m too shy and private,” she explained, “I couldn’t share my life in front of strangers like that.”

I can see why she might baulk at the idea. She works in a legal office, so her daily jobs are all behind-the-scenes. The idea of being the “front person” or doing her work in full view of the public, makes her wince.

But here’s where she’s got the wrong idea…

I’m also shy and private.

Just because I write emails like this… or get on stage in front of group of people… doesn’t mean I am someone who wants to show off or likes to share every detail of their life. I’m not even someone who often posts pics of my kids and pets on social media.

However, I’ve been in the publishing business for over 20 years. I know that to attract customers, get them to understand my message, and then convince them to act on my advice, I need to communicate.

To communicate effectively, you must come across as a real person.

This goes for any kind of business with online content… whether it’s an information product like a course or membership site… or an online shop that has a blog and social media…

The most effective way to attract customers, build trust and make your business unique is to reveal something of your personality.

I admit this can be frightening…

But don’t let that put you off…

You don’t need to share every aspect of yourself or forgo your privacy.

What you do instead is create a persona…

This is a public personality based around your passions, interests, flaws and strengths, which YOU can control.

Most comedians, actors, public speakers, social media stars and public figures have a persona that they inhabit when they are online, in front of cameras, or on stage.

Beyonce famously admitted to and introduced us to her alter ego – Sasha Fierce.

She explained:  “I have someone else that takes over when it’s time for me to work and when I’m on stage, this alter ego that I’ve created that kind of protects me and who I really am.”

An alter ego or persona is an edited, embellished version of themselves. One designed to appeal to their fan base or customer base, while also protecting their more complex true selves.

For instance, they might enhance their grumpiness, their excitability, their sense of humour or their outspokenness on certain issues. After all, that’s what they’ve built their career on. It’s what their fans like and expect. It’s their ‘brand’.

However, they might not show aspects of themselves that contradict that brand… certain weakness and insecurities… or private emotions which they only share with friends and family.

With a persona there is a “you” that you show to the public – perhaps funny, happy and confident – as opposed to the “you” at home who occasionally gets sad, or is worried about money, or going through a relationship split.

But as I’ll explain later it can actually be extremely powerful and effective to admit weaknesses or negative things going on in your life. It’s just important to remember that you can control what you tell!

So if you are concerned about the idea of fronting a business, with a social media feed, blog, photos, interviews and other kinds of content that make you feel exposed, I recommend you think about building your ‘persona’, a version of you that you feel comfortable showing the public.

This isn’t just for your protection…

It’s actually a very important marketing tool.

Having a consistent and easily recognisable persona is a form of branding that makes you and your business more recognisable, more relatable, memorable and distinct from the competition.

It gives you a small set of opinions, interests and biographical details that give your communications a character and voice that your subscribers will recognise instantly.

To create a persona, I recommend you look at the following:

1. Biography

Think of aspects to your life situation, family status, physicality or experience that make you who you are (and which you are willing to share). For instance:

• FAMILY (eg. marriage, kids, grandparents, divorce, new relationship) – could you regularly mention a member of your family to give it uniqueness and individuality? You might have a lot of children, or disastrous relationship history, or look after an elderly relative, or have a particularly funny spouse who comes up with wisecracks.

Personally I find it uncomfortable to give any very specific details about my children (I’ll mention them but nothing very personal)… and certainly wouldn’t use current photos of them (without their permission) but that’s just my line, you may feel completely differently.

• PHYSICALITY (eg. height, weight, hair, disease, ailments) – is there anything about yourself that you’re happy to mention that could make you more visible in your reader’s imagination, or that connects you physically to your subject matter. You might be unusually tall or short, or find it easy to put on weight.

• EXPERIENCE – is there a significant experience in your life (past or present) that you could refer to regularly. For instance, overcoming illness or trauma. Or perhaps a job you did, a role you once had, or a past-time you enjoy. You might have a strange job, or once been a chain smoker, or maybe you were a minor celebrity.

Remember, you don’t have to share your whole life, so if there are things in your past you’d rather forget about, or which are painful, they can stay private.

2. Personality traits

Pick out some of the good and bad traits of your personality that you think might connect with your customers. But not too many, and nothing that makes you contradictory or confusing.

Examples include:

• You’re highly critical – you drill into details and analyse everything in depth

• You’re rational – you approach everything scientifically and methodically

• You’re compulsive – you act on instinct and emotion

• You’re obsessive – you can’t let anything go, you’re a workaholic or super-fan)

• You’re fun-loving and optimistic

• You’re self-deprecating, sometimes pointing out your own flaws and mistakes

• You’re honest – you pull no punches and say what you think

• You’re a crusader – always fighting someone’s corner or trying to improve the world

• You’re a traditionalist – you love simple values and old fashioned virtues

These are just a few examples, but you can see what I mean. Remember, negative traits aren’t always negative for your customers.

For example, if you’re a product reviewer, then being grumpy and cynical might be just what your customers are looking for. Or if you’re running a course on health and safety, then being clinical and obsessive can be a good trait.

Sometimes a trait simply makes you stand out. For instance, perhaps you run a newsletter for accountants, but you happen to be very funny and irreverent, which helps differentiate you from the competition.

Also remember that admitting some weaknesses can be a good thing. It makes you more authentic and real, and therefore more trustworthy.

So if you feel angry, sad, impatient or unreasonable at times, you can share these emotions too. It’s up to you.

3. Passions

Decide on some of the biggest passions in your life which you are willing to share.

You might love pug dogs… you might be obsessed with designer shoes… you might love Beyonce’s music… you might be a foodie who watches all the cookery shows… you might be outspoken about climate change…

These passions could be related to the business you are in, but they could simply be interests that you refer to occasionally when you communicate.

Examples include…

• Hobbies – anything you like to do in your spare time to relax like needlework, cycling, hiking, watercolour painting…

• Collectables – anything from furniture to fanzines.

• Art and culture – certain film genres, a favourite author, a TV show, a pop star you love.

• Special causes – from the environment to local issues to charities.

• Business interests – products, businesses, brands or gurus you admire.

Again, the persona is up to you. if you really love pug dogs, Haagan Dasz ice cream  or Lionel Ritchie, but feel silly or embarrassed about sharing it with strangers, then you don’t have to add it to your persona.

The benefit of a persona is that it allows you to inhabit a version of yourself that’s consistent and relatable whenever you write an email, speak in a video, post on social media or talk in public.

But if you happen to feel sad that week… or you’re having a bad time at home… or you’re lacking confidence… you don’t have to share that.

However, be aware that some weaknesses can make you more human and therefore more appealing. So you can occasionally say you feel tired, or sad, or confused about the world and that can sometimes help you connect with your reader.

Of course, it’s up to you – and you can hide or show whatever you choose.

In a way, a persona is like a version of you in the “public setting” that you switch on whenever you communicate for your business. Then your “private setting” is what you save for friends and family only.

It’s something YOU control.

I hope this gives you some reassurance – and also perhaps some ideas for how you can add a unique personality to your business.

Now it’s your turn

Once you’ve tapped into your persona you’re perfectly positioned to take the next step and start thinking about making your own course. People want to learn from someone who is real and relatable and finding your voice is half the battle.

I frequently run FREE online masterclasses which show you how to build best-selling online courses (without the tech overwhelm) and I’d love to help you too!

To see when I’m running my next free online session and to secure yourself a place click here now.