This Sunday I was at my favourite nail place – run by the most incredible young couple.

They’re dynamic, ambitious, juggling a new-ish business and raising their gorgeous little girl.

I often go with my own daughter, and as the salon owner works her magic on my nails, we usually end up deep in conversation – life, business, kids, all of it.

The last few times, she’s said something along the lines of:

“I always admire your relationship with your daughter. I told my husband, I hope that one day, when our daughter’s older, we’ll have that too. I know we’ve got to work hard now… but that could be our future.”

At first, I thought she was just being polite.

But she’s said it enough times now (!) and keeps asking for advice so I’ve started to realise she truly meant it – and it’s probably the nicest compliment anyone could give me.

Because yes, I do have a wonderful relationship with both my children.

They’re independent, kind, funny, and entirely themselves. And they do feel comfortable talking to me about stuff.

And I’m proud of that more than almost anything else.

But what I want to say to her next time (and I will because she has asked me straight out so it’s not that I’m just offering her random and unwanted advice!) is this:

That kind of connection didn’t just happen.

It was a choice.

One that came with costs, compromises, and a whole lot of imperfect stuff.

I didn’t build my business just to “make money in future” or for some vague sense of “freedom.”

I built it because of what I wanted my relationship with my kids to feel like – when they were little, when they were teenagers, and beyond.

That goal stayed top of my mind even when the juggle felt exhausting.

Especially then.

Like those 25-minute walks to school each morning (we chose a school near where we worked so we could do this).

Not glamorous. Not always easy. But those walks gave us our own little world – time to connect, laugh, share awkward silences, chat about LEGO and FIFA (endless FIFA!!!), or talk about something quietly worrying them about a friend.

That small daily ritual became one of the cornerstones of our closeness.

And when people talk about “freedom” or “balance”, the reality is:

You can’t have it all, all of the time.

But you can have what matters most – IF you’re clear about what that is.

For me, that meant saying no to many overseas work trips, late-night events, even some business growth we could have had (and I hate admitting that).

And (if I’m being totally honest), my husband didn’t always get the best of me during those years. He got the tired, wrung-out version of me more than I like to admit.

Yes, our business has been amazing for our life – and generating over £50 million is something I’m hugely proud of.

But I have no doubt we could have made even more if we’d sacrificed more.

And I never wanted to be the couple who built a wildly successful business… only to look up and realise we’d missed our goal: our relationship with our kids.

So if you’re reading this and wondering if it’s even possible to build something flexible and fulfilling while still being there for your family or other aspects of your life…

It absolutely is.

But it takes clarity. And the courage to make trade-offs others might not understand.

And maybe you don’t have children.

Or maybe yours are grown now and the school runs are long behind you.

But really, this isn’t about parenting.

What I’m trying to share,maybe in a clumsy way, is that success only feels right if it’s aligned with what you actually want.

That’s the real point.

The goal can be anything: more creativity, a slower life, better health, deeper friendships, financial peace, travel… whatever matters most to you.

But unless you’re clear on it, you’ll end up chasing goals that look good on paper – and wondering why they don’t feel good.

So here’s my hard-won advice (that I’m still working on!):

Decide what really matters to you. Don’t copy someone else’s version of success.

Build around that. Make your goals fit your life – not the other way around. Be honest about what’s “enough” for you.

Forgive yourself constantly. It won’t be perfect. It’ll be yours.

If you’re still figuring out how to make this all work – especially if you’re dreaming of building a course-based business that gives you your time and choices back – I’ve got some things that can help:

If you’re still figuring out how to make this all work – especially if you’re dreaming of building a course-based business that gives you your time and choices back – just take a moment to concentrate on what really matters to you (use this resource):

➡️ Your Reason Why – download instantly

You don’t have to figure it all out on your own.

I’d love to help you shortcut some of the mistakes I made – and cheer you on as you build something meaningful, powerful, and right for you!